Episode 7: How to Live a Boring Life

   



Does your currently reality match up with the life you dreamed about; full of excitement and adventure?! Or is normal life more boring than you imagined? If so, you’re not alone! This episode, Kris and Hannah wonder about the beauty of an ordinary life, and discuss leaving a legacy made up of small, familiar everyday moments. 

Links + resources from this episode:

  • We want to hear from you! Do you have a question for Kris or Hannah about how a rhythm could support your daily life? An area of your life for them to troubleshoot with a RHYTHMS perspective? A follow up question from a previous episode? Or just curious to get to know Kris and Hannah more? We'll be answering your questions on Episode 10 of the pod, so share your question with us by emailing therhythmspodcast@gmail.com
  • Find us on Instagram at @itsrhythmspodcast

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This transcript was generated automatically and may not be 100 percent accurate.

Episode transcript:

00:00:00 Hannah

Welcome to The Rhythms podcast. My name is Hannah.

00:00:03 Kris

And my name is Kris.

00:00:05 Kris

This is a podcast about exploring the rhythms, patterns and habits that bring joy and add richness to our everyday lives.

00:00:12 Hannah

From daily habits to embracing the changing seasons, it's not about mindless routines, but patterns with purpose. It's about making something special out of something.

00:00:24 Kris

If you're someone who wants to move beyond just being more efficient or productive and instead find ways to infuse your days with small, familiar moments that matter, then you've found two new friends with the same goal.

00:00:37 Hannah

Every episode listen in as we share a reflection on the role of rhythms in our.

00:00:42 Hannah

Lives join our conversation as we unpack this idea further and then spend a moment with us considering how that rhythm could shape or add richness to our lives today.

00:00:55 Kris

This is episode 7 how to live.

00:00:58 Kris

A boring life.

00:01:02 Kris

I am slowly coming to terms with it my.

00:01:05 Kris

Life is pretty boring.

00:01:08 Kris

It's a big statement with a lot of nuance in it.

00:01:10 Kris

So let me unpack it a bit and maybe try to convince you why living a boring life isn't that bad. And maybe convince myself for a bit too.

00:01:21 Kris

Like any kid growing up, my head was full of dreams and aspirations. My biggest one was to be a world famous touring musician.

00:01:30 Kris

I would hear drum in my bedroom to all my favourite albums, imagining what it would be like to play to a sold out crowd when I'd pick up my guitar.

00:01:38 Kris

It was always for a crowd of thousands in my head. At least there was an innocence, A Sheen over life at that time the world was sparkly, shiny and special. Everything felt achievable.

00:01:51 Kris

Like it wasn't just out there, but ready for me to conquer.

00:01:56 Kris

As I got older, the shine began to wear off as the weight of real life became more and more apparent, the world got smaller and more routine life moved from dreams to reality.

00:02:08 Kris

Studying, paying rent, managing relationships. You know that micro level stuff that you just don't consider until it slides its way.

00:02:16 Kris

Into your day.

00:02:17 Kris

To day.

00:02:18 Kris

Not everything is going to turn out perfect, and that's just not how life is.

00:02:24 Kris

Chances are we'll hit a point where we realise that those childhood dreams, with few exceptions, will not come true.

00:02:32 Kris

It's OK to grieve those dreams, by the way. An idea is just as special and precious as a tangible object.

00:02:40 Kris

Those shiny dreams.

00:02:41 Kris

Were the drive that we needed to explore and define who we were, who we are.

00:02:48 Kris

It's OK to remember them. I still do. I'm bumming myself out already. And you 2, probably, but stick with me.

00:02:56 Kris

Because growing up and having a life filled with boring and routine things isn't necessarily a bad thing. If you choose for it not to be every.

00:03:06 Kris

Is a matter of mindset.

00:03:09 Kris

You might not be an astronaut or a rock star, but you do have control over making the moments you do experience rich and exciting.

00:03:18 Kris

So I want you to imagine for the rest of this episode, air quotes around the word boring every time we say it boring is not bad if you don't want it to be.

00:03:30 Kris

There were rhythms in life that are by nature chaotic. Life in general is just messy. Sometimes I wonder why we choose chaos.

00:03:39 Kris

There are people who crave it as much as their morning cup of coffee. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but I don't think living a chaotic, wild and unpredictable life should be the default state of expectation for what.

00:03:51 Kris

Success or fulfilment looks like.

00:03:55 Kris

A life filled with simple routines and predictable patterns. It's just as meaningful. It might not have the Sheen and sparkle of chaos on it, but simple things can be wonderful, memorable, adventurous.

00:04:10 Kris

The gap between chaos and simplicity, I think, is bridged by our understanding of what makes us happy.

00:04:18 Kris

Once we understand what it is that makes us happy, it helps us to figure out why we make the choices we do, and we align those choices one way or another.

00:04:27 Kris

It's pretty simple really. We repeat the things that make us happy. For some, it's jumping out of the plane.

00:04:35 Kris

For others, it's a walk to the shops. I do want to throw a bone towards living a boring.

00:04:39 Kris

Jeff, though, there's a concept called the head and neck treadmill, which basically means that humans have a tendency to return back to a state of stable happiness regardless of their environment or circumstances. More simply, we adapt quickly to our new normal.

00:04:57 Kris

So the person who skydives every weekend will very quickly adapt to that level of excitement and stimulus and will start looking for the next high boring makes special special by punctuating our lives with points of high stimulation, we can make those experiences far more.

00:05:16 Kris

Vivid, engaging, and memorable than if we did them all every day, every day.

00:05:23 Kris

Every day.

00:05:24 Kris

In other words, if everything's special, nothing is special.

00:05:30 Kris

Living a common life also grounds us in reality, this tether, by the way, is under consistent and relentless assault by social media and other external forces that expose us to the absolute highs of the lives.

00:05:44 Kris

Of millions of people.

00:05:47 Kris

Much of it is.

00:05:48 Kris

Utterly unattainable, and, I would argue, not a reflection of objective reality.

00:05:55 Kris

I genuinely don't believe every piece of social media is nefarious or malicious. There's a place for that type of town square, and I cherish the parts of social media that make people.

00:06:05 Kris

Move genuinely closer together, but we've got to be real everything. Everything has a philtre on it. This reflection that I've written has a philtre on it. I've revised it. I've second guessed what I should write.

00:06:20 Kris

Hick. I'm even now, as I'm reading this, wondering if I've shared too much about my childhood dreams of being a rock star.

00:06:28 Kris

So imagine being constantly exposed to the deep insecurities or jealousies or envies of the people who are living the lifestyles we claim to want.

00:06:39 Kris

Not all of us can attain that level of social, cultural or financial significance, and that's OK when we compare ourselves to an unattainable reality, we doom ourselves to a life of infinite striving.

00:06:53 Kris

It saps the joy out of living in the moment and destroys the ability to find beauty in the moments that passes by all the time living a common ordinary life is solid, sustainable, predictable. It's also full of joy, colour, texture, shape.

00:07:13 Kris

Feeling, emotion, adventure and beauty.

00:07:18 Kris

It's easy to see once you remove the philtre.

00:07:22 Kris

I believe that those beautiful, understated moments become the ones with the depth needed for us to remember them years, decades later.

00:07:31 Kris

They stand out by contrast.

00:07:35 Kris

I think that's why I'm coming around to the idea of a rhythm being something ordinary and special at the same time.

00:07:42 Kris

It puts the control of how we perceive and react to the world around us back in our hands, I've been wrestling with this idea of living a boring life because at some level admitting my life follows quite a similar trajectory to most other people. Is admitting some type of defeat.

00:08:01 Kris

The poet and civil rights activist Maya Angelou said this.

00:08:06 Kris

People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did.

00:08:11 Kris

But people will never forget how you.

00:08:13 Kris

Made them feel.

00:08:15 Kris

I think rhythms have the power to shift our focus into the everyday. The here and now where legacy is built on small, familiar and warm interactions, both with ourselves and with those around us, those who are important to us.

00:08:32 Kris

And at the end of the day, those are the things which I think really matter. Money, influence, adventure. It's all going to fade away the way we make people, ourselves included, feel will produce fruit for many seasons.

00:08:51 Kris

Some might call that boring.

00:08:54 Kris

I think it's kind of beautiful.

00:08:57 Kris

There's a lot of beauty in ordinary things.

00:09:00 Kris

An American sitcom about an ordinary paper company made that point well during its run rhythms point out.

00:09:07 Kris

Deputy setting out a compass heading towards finding beauty in the boring.

00:09:13 Kris

I may not.

00:09:14 Kris

Be a world famous touring musician, but I have travelled the world with people.

00:09:19 Kris

That I love.

00:09:20 Kris

I still make music, but.

00:09:22 Kris

It doesn't have to travel the.

00:09:23 Kris

World or be heard by millions of people to be special.

00:09:27 Kris

My aspiration, and it's an aspiration, because I know for sure that I'm not there yet, is to enjoy life without the pressure of being seen or validated or elevated by the Sheen of perceived.

00:09:44 Kris

I am coming to terms with it.

00:09:47 Kris

I'm living a boring life.

00:09:50 Kris

A stable, real beautiful.

00:09:55 Kris

Boring life.

00:10:06 Hannah

OK, Kris, I love it. I'm inspired. I'm on board. Let's all live boring lives.

00:10:13 Kris

Well, I I felt like I had to put a million asterisks in my brain when I was writing this because I was just constantly straddling this line of I want to be living this life and I don't want to be living this life. And it took even a bit of courage for me to put my foot.

00:10:31 Kris

Over to the left.

00:10:34 Kris

And an ordinary life camp. And finding the magic and finding the and the magic and rhythms.

00:10:41 Hannah

Yes, but I thought that was so good because I think you're so clearly articulating the reason.

00:10:48 Hannah

Like for this podcast like why Rhythms is exactly what you're talking about, because without that familiar loveness or without rhythms, it's mundane, which I think is different from what you're talking about.

00:11:00 Hannah

Yeah, with like the word boring.

00:11:02 Kris

There's some nuance there, and I used boring because it was catchy, I guess.

00:11:09 Kris

But also, and I don't want to be pessimistic as well, it's not a pessimistic point of view, but it.

00:11:16 Kris

I feel like it is.

00:11:17 Kris

A really real point of view that for 99.9999% of people.

00:11:24 Kris

Myself included.

00:11:26 Kris

We we grow up to live ordinary lives.

00:11:31 Hannah

Yeah. Yes.

00:11:32 Kris

You know, like we, we have these dreams and aspirations.

00:11:37 Kris

Life happens the way it does and.

00:11:41 Kris

I feel like you can hit this little wall and I wonder if that's what the midlife crisis is. And, you know, people have these, like, crisis where they just don't.

00:11:49 Kris

Know who they are.

00:11:50 Kris

And it's like I had so many dreams for myself and and now I'm living a boring life. And how do?

00:11:56 Kris

I deal with.

00:11:56 Kris

That and and we're sort of it's almost self depreciating like.

00:12:00 Kris

Ah, I'm such. This is so boring.

00:12:03 Kris

Yeah, but, but it's not that.

00:12:05 Hannah

Well, yeah. So I was thinking as I was listening to your reflection often.

00:12:10 Hannah

Now if I catch up with a friend or someone who I haven't seen for a long, long time and they asked me, you know, how are you? I honestly, the most common thing that comes out my mouth as I say. Ohh yeah.

00:12:22 Hannah

I'm good. I'm a bit boring, really, you know.

00:12:25 Hannah

You guys say I I.

00:12:26 Hannah

Work and I walk and I hang out with my family.

00:12:31 Hannah

And I think, yeah, I've been saying it in a bit of a negative way, but genuinely I just feel so inspired now to, like, reframe that even just in my own head.

00:12:41 Hannah

It's like, no, no, I have this life full of, like, lovely rhythms, because I'm saying it's boring. And what I'm meaning is it's ordinary and full of lots of repeated patterns.

00:12:52 Hannah

And and I enjoy it.

00:12:54 Kris

Yeah, I mean, I guess I had to put air quotes around boring because we take out of there what we will you know the.

00:13:01 Kris

Word. But I'll tell you what it.

00:13:03 Kris

Was a little bit vulnerable for me to share that and I I kept going back and forward about talking about sort of childhood dreams cause they sound silly sometimes, you know, like I want to be a rock.

00:13:14 Kris

Star. When I grow up.

00:13:15 Kris

Well, I want to be an astronaut and.

00:13:17 Kris

There is a beauty to.

00:13:19 Kris

Having dreams and I talked about it.

00:13:21 Kris

They fuel us up for the the journey and they let us discover who we are and some people just relentlessly chase those dreams.

00:13:30 Kris

And that's like a whole thing in itself where, you know, nothing's going to stop.

00:13:34 Kris

Them from hitting that goal or being that person.

00:13:38 Kris

But for me it was and I I wrote about it. It's OK to grieve the loss of those dreams as well. Like, I still think about air drumming in my bedroom to my favourite records.

00:13:50 Kris

And wishing and like there's like, a deep longing which I don't think will ever leave me to have lived that dream out.

00:13:58 Kris

And I'm sure there are people listening to that who have had a dream that hasn't come true. So like, I just want to say that to anyone who's listen.

00:14:05 Kris

Like it's OK to talk about what you wanted to be, and even if it's ridiculous, like that's probably helped you become the person you are now. I know it has for me.

00:14:15 Hannah

I wonder as I'm like hearing you talk about.

00:14:17 Hannah

That I don't think that this is all of it, but I wonder if a little bit of our childhood dreams.

00:14:23 Hannah

Is a little bit about that. A life that we imagine for ourselves and some of it will be about the lifestyle that we imagine for ourselves.

00:14:31 Hannah

So I think even if we don't necessarily achieve a particular career ambition or goal, sometimes we realise some of what was unarticulated about the dream in other ways.

00:14:44 Hannah

I'm wondering.

00:14:45 Kris

I think so. I think we tie up a lot of who we are in external validation as well. Yeah, I pointed at money and influence and adventure.

00:14:54 Kris

I think I'd used adventure quite a bit like travelling the world you know.

00:14:58 Hannah

Yes, yes.

00:14:59 Kris

You know, everyone wants to see. I think everyone wants to see the world.

00:15:03 Kris

Believe it's because our world gets smaller as we get older.

00:15:07 Kris

It becomes less magical, and the world's so connected. Now that's like I need to break out of the small world and go see what the real.

00:15:15 Hannah

World is like, yeah, like breaking out of our like, familiar the ordinary world to see something different and exciting.

00:15:22 Kris

Exciting, but I guess looking over the fence and looking at rhythms as a way to reframe.

00:15:28 Kris

That idea that the ordinary things that you do in life can be just as adventurous and magical and and beautiful as the really big scale big adventures that you see on Instagram or whatever. They can be just as meaningful, I think.

00:15:44 Hannah

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think you you said legacy is built on small, familiar and warm interactions both with ourselves and with those around us. And I really, really liked that. And I had a question for.

00:15:57 Hannah

You because yeah.

00:15:57 Kris

OK.

00:15:59 Hannah

I think when we think about our childhood, we're going to talk soon about like how we felt and how people made us feel.

00:16:05 Hannah

But also I think it's often traditions and rituals and rhythms that we remember. So I wondered what fond memories.

00:16:13 Hannah

You have of like rhythms and traditions growing up like what some of the legacy.

00:16:19 Hannah

From your childhood and from probably from your mum, who may be helped with bringing those into your life.

00:16:27 Kris

Yeah, that's a good question. We lived pretty simply, you know, we didn't do a whole lot of crazy stuff, but.

00:16:35 Kris

Small things like Mum's cooking, waiting for me on the stove when I get home from like a a late practise or something.

00:16:44 Kris

There's always something that I really appreciate it, you know, there'd be warm water or something or some Curry leftover or, you know, like it's just little things like that, that, like, definitely food. That's one that I remember fondly, like we'd have.

00:16:56 Kris

But they're like a lamb leg at Kristmas.

00:16:59 Kris

You know, and and they they weren't fancy meals or anything like that. But again, that's not the point they.

00:17:04 Hannah

Yeah, that's it.

00:17:05 Kris

The point is that they're sort of like these little neuron pathways in our brains that have just been solidified in concrete.

00:17:12 Hannah

Yes. Yeah.

00:17:13 Kris

Some, like us all it takes is a smell or a tiny little cue, and it takes you right back there.

00:17:19 Hannah

Yeah. Yes.

00:17:20 Kris

And that's that's what I think I was talking about is that lives are built up of thousands and thousands of little tiny moments.

00:17:28 Kris

Yeah. So I think that would be like definitely food.

00:17:31 Kris

So if you're listening around, thanks for all the all the stove top meals you left for me when I.

00:17:36 Kris

Came back from band practise.

00:17:37 Hannah

Yeah, that's actually not like I don't want to sound crazy, but there is actually a lovely picture I have in my head of you.

00:17:42 Hannah

Like walking into a.

00:17:43 Hannah

Dark House and seeing the meal lift on the.

00:17:46 Hannah

Stove like that?

00:17:46 Hannah

Is a lovely rhythm that you had.

00:17:48 Kris

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:50 Hannah

Yes, for me I also had around like the dinner table. Is that our family would have like a special family time after.

00:17:57 Hannah

The night every night. And it'd be like a reading and it's an activity that we.

00:18:02 Hannah

I would have like a little prayer time, which they were the best when we would all like divulge into giggles in the middle of the prayers and not be able to carry on.

00:18:11 Hannah

So that was a Group One and what I thought was similarly with holidays is we would have traditions for our family and I wonder that's just an idea. As I was prepping for this episode.

00:18:23 Hannah

Traditions like the vehicle for group rhythms, you know, cause like a tradition.

00:18:28 Hannah

When is like sort of set and articulated so that a lot of people can take part, I think there will be other types of rhythms that groups can have, but I think traditions make it really easy for groups of people to be in rhythm.

00:18:43 Kris

I think so, and I think that's what makes them so comforting because they're familiar.

00:18:49 Kris

And definitely holidays like Kristmas I'm thinking of and I've had the chance to sort of form new ones. I've been married for 10 years in November to Vanessa. And over that time, we've.

00:19:03 Kris

Built new traditions the way we do Kristmas, for example, you know, so definitely it's a chance for groups for us to live this idea of rhythm together.

00:19:14 Kris

We talked about rhythms in quite almost a solitary sort of way, but it's not that. Like, I think that's why people seek others is is to share in this.

00:19:23 Kris

Familiar loveliness with other.

00:19:24 Hannah

People. Yeah, I think that's gonna be an episode that I want to have in the future.

00:19:28 Hannah

Is like. What about when you want a life full of rhythms and people get?

00:19:31 Hannah

In the way.

00:19:33 Hannah

I think that that can sort of that's sort of what I come across with.

00:19:36 Hannah

It is like I've got this lovely ideas of things that I want in my life, these rhythms and then other people.

00:19:40 Hannah

Get in my way, but I think traditions help us to be together and rhythm another rhythm of mine that I remember as a kid.

00:19:49 Hannah

It was a solitary one was we weren't allowed to watch television during the week. So like Friday, well Friday, when school finished, we were allowed to come home and watch TV.

00:20:01 Hannah

And they were still, like, quite like tight.

00:20:03 Hannah

Time frames on how much television we were allowed to watch, but on Saturday morning, while everyone else slept, I was allowed to get up and creep down stairs to the lounge and watch cartoons.

00:20:16 Hannah

And I remember one of the news readers doing the like 6:00 AM little update or something talking to kids being like giving the.

00:20:24 Hannah

You know, headlines then, like now, kids don't like your parents or something. I I'm still vividly because I was like, they're talking to me like I'm talking to my experience.

00:20:32 Hannah

In that moment.

00:20:33 Hannah

But I also remember something awful.

00:20:37 Hannah

There must have been something behind the televisions like we had, like this weird little, you know, box television. And it was up high on this cabinet.

00:20:44 Hannah

I don't know what happened, but I still remember one Saturday morning I knocked the television down and broke.

00:20:51 Kris

Ohh no you park.

00:20:52 Hannah

It. Yeah, bark it. Wow, yeah.

00:20:55 Kris

I don't teach you for.

00:20:55 Kris

Sneaking out.

00:20:56 Hannah

I know, but yeah. But that was like a lovely rhythm of mine as I was like. But and again, we know at this point Hannah is a major introvert. And so getting to be.

00:21:06 Hannah

And the house and the lounge by myself, watching TV on a Saturday morning was.

00:21:10 Hannah

One of my favourite things.

00:21:11 Kris

Yeah, I had a similar one where I'd love to game and I grew up gaming as a kid and it was like I wish I could just do.

00:21:19 Kris

This forever.

00:21:20 Kris

Yeah. And then real life got in the way to do other things. But yeah, we remember those moments, that sort of cement themselves in our brains.

00:21:29 Hannah

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

00:21:31 Hannah

OK, so I think we've sort of talked about like what we mean by boring. It's not like mundane, but like ordinary and repetitive repetitive, but that that can be still soulful and life giving something very ordinary can still be.

00:21:45 Kris

Yeah, yeah. You're most living a shared experience with the people around you. I just don't think we think about that, that for the most part, you know, every every life is different. But the building blocks as we have structured them in society in.

00:22:01 Kris

The 21st century be born, get educated for.

00:22:06 Kris

A certain number of years get a job, maybe get married or find a partner, buy a house, work, retire, you know, and then at some point you leave.

00:22:17 Kris

And that's like the basic building blocks of a common ordinary life. So it's a shared experience, and maybe it's good to remind ourselves that we're actually not.

00:22:27 Kris

And maybe feeling that sometimes that's a bit empty.

00:22:31 Hannah

Hmm, I think that that's why I always find these conversations really helpful because I'm hearing in you things that resonate with me. So hopefully that's yeah.

00:22:40 Kris

Yeah. I always think about it when, and I've mentioned this before, when you're listening to a really good comedian who is pointing out the things in life that we all experience and and the the gift that they have is to spin that into something funny. But it's that shared experience that sort of does the heavy lifting for them.

00:23:00 Kris

Because people just lean into that, they just understand it in their bones.

00:23:04 Kris

You know. Ohh yeah, I that that's happened to.

00:23:08 Kris

Yes, totally. And I I that's why I admire a good comedian so much just cause they are so in tune with what makes humans human.

00:23:19 Kris

What they can do is point out the ridiculousness of some of those things that we do in a way that helps us reflect on that.

00:23:26 Kris

And have a good time.

00:23:27 Hannah

OK. So thinking then about like, what's the opposite of that? Because we're talking about like shared experiences and like being similar like in some ways and the ordinariness of our lives.

00:23:38 Hannah

Is this part of the experience now? Is wanting to be different or extraordinary because another idea that I hear?

00:23:47 Hannah

Coming through in your reflection is the idea of being content, and I think a quote that came to me as I was listening was from Theodore Roosevelt. Probably everyone knows this. That comparison is the thief of.

00:24:01 Hannah

And if we're constantly comparing, maybe we can't be content.

00:24:05 Kris

It's like the head and neck treadmill that I talked about that humans have a tendency and and an ability to very quickly set a new default, so it doesn't matter what your economic or your personal circumstances, you sort of tend to self correct and sort of figure out the new normal easily.

00:24:25 Kris

And comparison just sets you up on this infinite loop of never measuring up to. I guess I'd call it perfection in a.

00:24:36 Kris

It's cause you're chasing something that you'll never achieve, hmm, or that you like. Very unlikely that you'll ever really become the mental image that you have of yourself in your brain.

00:24:49 Hannah

Or if you do then you will have a new picture. Yeah, yeah, the.

00:24:53 Kris

Picture changes. Yeah, and.

00:24:56 Kris

I think we all do that to ourselves and it's just a product of what's around us. Like I said, we're in a a very small world that's hyper connected at the same time.

00:25:06 Kris

We see reels and highlights of people who are, you know, maybe 20 or 30 years ago, we wouldn't have had that window into that person's life.

00:25:17 Kris

And as we're we're preparing and just talking about the episode, just before we had recorded, we were talking about how even that is curated. You know that perfect, beautiful reel that you've watched.

00:25:26 Kris

Influence or whatever, it's like colour.

00:25:29 Kris

And they got the VO and everything, and it's beautiful. They've been ages moving their phone camera around, getting the right shot and.

00:25:36 Hannah

Totally the ones I like have to pay attention to now that we have a podcast about rhythms is the ones where people show about like, what their morning routine is and it shows them getting out of bed and they look perfect.

00:25:47 Hannah

Of course they do. And I'm like, no, no, you've gotten out of bed already and set up that phone on camera to get this shot of you getting out of bed and.

00:25:54 Hannah

Then like I think, how many times they have to move.

00:25:56 Hannah

That device so they get a shot with them opening those curtains and a shot of them opening those.

00:26:00 Hannah

And a shot of them in the bathroom putting on their makeup.

00:26:02 Hannah

And a shot of.

00:26:03 Hannah

You know, like I'm like that's actually.

00:26:05 Hannah

Not your real life.

00:26:05 Kris

I I respect the hustle though.

00:26:07 Hannah

I agree. But then they also got me thinking as like, I'm enjoying your beautiful curated picture into. It would be a reflection of what your morning routine is usually like, but also what I'm thinking about was the boring or mundane hours.

00:26:27 Hannah

That have gone into putting that reel together right? So.

00:26:31 Kris

Yeah, the whole the whole thing isn't spectacular.

00:26:33 Kris

It's not it.

00:26:34 Kris

Doesn't come out like that straight away.

00:26:36 Hannah

So even if you have this beautiful or extraordinary or wonderful part, there's still monotony. You know, under the surface, of course, it's what you're saying that is to be human.

00:26:49 Kris

And this is a little bit of a tangent, but what artistry does is it frames reality in a different way.

00:26:56 Kris

So a TikTok influencer. Regardless of what you might think of that as a profession or I, I still think there's artistry in it.

00:27:04 Kris

You know the really curated stuff and they've sort of framed reality like a a morning routine video is something beautiful. I think the arts give us an insight into that sort of aspirational view of.

00:27:16 Kris

What I want my reality to look.

00:27:18 Kris

Like like I have these feelings inside me and I can't really express them in any other way.

00:27:24 Kris

Other than to.

00:27:24 Kris

Write a song or to paint a picture, or to write some poetry or something.

00:27:30 Kris

So yeah, shout.

00:27:31 Kris

Out to all of the artists who are trying to make sense of their boring ordinariness by making making things extraordinary and.

00:27:38 Kris

And reflecting reality back through their mind.

00:27:42 Kris

They're artistic mirror, whatever.

00:27:44 Hannah

That is. Yeah, I think what you're talking about, Kris, there is like how when we engage with peoples works of art that does evoke emotion and inspiration.

00:27:56 Hannah

And I loved what you said. You have some great one liners in this reflection, by the way, like.

00:28:01 Hannah

Put them on a T-shirt or something. You see it the way we make people, ourselves included, feel will produce fruit for many seasons and I just love that because what we've talked about rhythms being, you know, routines or things that get you some.

00:28:18 Hannah

And enjoy getting there. And so that also talks about feeling. So I think what you've said there is a very beautiful connection to rhythms.

00:28:28 Hannah

And I think just really highlights how crucial rhythms are in our lives, because it is how we feel and how we make.

00:28:37 Hannah

People feel that we will remember and rhythms are about helping us have a particular feeling as we achieve things or whatever it is. Am I saying that, like really confusing?

00:28:50 Kris

No, I I get what you're saying. I.

00:28:53 Kris

I was inspired.

00:28:55 Kris

At Hannah and I, a mutual friend of ours has passed away, and so I was inspired by just being in the process of working through that with the people around us. And you see it around funerals, don't you?

00:29:08 Kris

You see sort of the sum of the person's life and that's why I thought of that quote by Maya Angela.

00:29:15 Kris

That often it's not the extraordinary things they did, but it was like the little things. This person was a family friend of my family when we came to New Zealand, we didn't have much, and so they did so many little things for us. It wasn't an extraordinary thing, you know, but I'm remembering it now, 30 years later.

00:29:35 Kris

35 years later and there's a warmth on that, you know, that's solidified and concrete in my brain now.

00:29:42 Kris

We can be.

00:29:43 Hannah

Yes, yes.

00:29:45 Kris

And we can see that fruit actually we can't, we might not. We might not ever see that happen in our what we might see it in some ways. But I guess what I'm saying is that ordinary moments, ordinary things, they really matter.

00:29:59 Hannah

I wonder if somehow when you sum up your whole life, I wonder if they met him more like genuine. I'm not just saying that sound good? I genuinely wonder if they met him more than the peaks.

00:30:12 Kris

I think so. I I'm getting so much Taylor Swift on my algorithm. It's not even funny. It's all over my feed.

00:30:20 Kris

And Taylor Swift is an incredible person. Like regardless of what you think of him in music or or whatever, what she's achieved and the amount that's just staggering amount of influence and power that she has. She's like a great person. And I mean that great in the sense of like, stature.

00:30:40 Kris

She's a like a great person and she'll be remembered certainly, but I think the people that know her best won't remember her just for her music. Like when she when she passes away.

00:30:52 Kris

Yeah, you know, like it's it's not her stadiums or her albums, but the people who really know her.

00:30:58 Hannah

And I totally agree with you. And even before you mentioned Taylor Swift, when I was reading your reflection earlier, I was thinking about Taylor Swift fans because I also cannot escape them online.

00:31:11 Hannah

And I think what I hear them talking about is how they feel to be part of that fandom and how they feel when they engage with her music and how they feel like they have shared experience with her. You know, it's still about feeling and experience and being seen in their.

00:31:30 Hannah

Ordinary life by someone else.

00:31:34 Kris

And then it's magnified of course, because of her positioning and and what she carries as an international pop star.

00:31:41 Hannah

Who puts on like a flip and amazing show?

00:31:43 Hannah

Like I've never been to one, but I've watched one on Netflix and I'm like, I would go to that because like, have you seen the set and the things that.

00:31:44 Kris

I've heard.

00:31:51 Hannah

How about it? Amazing.

00:31:52 Kris

It's so OK to live in spectacle and and enjoy the grandness of something like that.

00:32:00 Kris

But it's always healthy to retain a good amount of perspective. Look, again, I'm going to be vulnerable here.

00:32:08 Kris

When I listen to music, there's always a part of me that feels sad.

00:32:15 Kris

And that feels.

00:32:20 Kris

That that's not my track or that I'm not doing that.

00:32:26 Kris

And all that does is prevent me from enjoying the music.

00:32:31 Hannah

Right.

00:32:32 Kris

You know, and that's something that I'm working on is actually I just want to enjoy this for what it is.

00:32:36 Kris

And not the shadow that I'm casting over.

00:32:40 Hannah

So do you think then what helps is knowing that you enjoy, yeah, the ordinariness.

00:32:46 Kris

The ordinariness of it, yeah.

00:32:48 Hannah

When you can enjoy the ordinary parts of your life, then the I wanna say grief. I don't know if that's too.

00:32:55 Hannah

Strong a word, but that.

00:32:55 Kris

No, I think I think that that's the perfect word for it. It is grief. It's a it's just like little black dot in the middle of something nice.

00:33:05 Hannah

Yes, yes.

00:33:06 Kris

And it will probably.

00:33:07 Kris

Never go away unless you really work on it. But yeah, it is. I.

00:33:10 Kris

Think you're right.

00:33:11 Hannah

And I think even when we were talking.

00:33:12 Hannah

Like about the concept of this podcast, we were talking about how rhythms are about familiar loveliness, but they're also about that steady beat that carries you and holds you in tough seasons.

00:33:25 Hannah

And I think you talked about that really beautifully in your reflection is that rhythms are stable. You know, they are that.

00:33:33 Hannah

And so and what it made me think about is how the rhythm is like the undercurrent like it is that constant that's carrying you through. So I think that that's lovely. And yeah, this season.

00:33:46 Hannah

Like that, we and our families and our community and right now is a tough one and it's an opportunity for us to think about what's holding us and carrying us, yeah.

00:33:58 Kris

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a time to gather perspective, what life offers you that sometimes? Eh. And it's almost like you can choose to grab onto the opportunity and learn something about yourself or the people around you, or you can just let it pass you by, particularly in this time.

00:34:17 Kris

I don't know what it is but.

00:34:18 Kris

I I've been far more.

00:34:20 Kris

Reflective about it, maybe it's the podcast. You know, I'm listening to things with podcast years and going ohh.

00:34:25 Kris

I wonder if people would value us, talk about this. Whatever it is, I think TuneIn to that cause.

00:34:31 Kris

Sometimes we're just not listening hard enough. The idea of active listening, like being aware of. Yeah, I might be living an ordinary.

00:34:38 Kris

But these ordinary things are stacking. Yeah, yeah, they're stacking and and eventually I'm going to hopefully see some fruit. And if not, well, that's OK too.

00:34:51 Hannah

I like it, OK.

00:34:54 Kris

So I don't know I I.

00:34:56 Kris

I realise I have.

00:34:57 Kris

Posed a a proposition how to live a boring life. I don't know if I've said how to live a boring life.

00:35:04 Hannah

I think I think what you're saying, maybe you correct me if I'm wrong is to just reframe it, you know, to find the beautiful and the lovely and ordinary. And I loved that you referenced a fantastic TV show.

00:35:24 Hannah

We're trying to see this.

00:35:26 Kris

But that's I I love. I love that because I I just finished for me that controversial for me, the office kind of ends when Steve Carell leaves the show.

00:35:37 Kris

I I almost never watched the last two seasons. I don't know why. Maybe I should keep going, but I just. I just finished his goodbye.

00:35:44 Kris

Episode, but I know that the final line of this of the series is there's beauty in ordinary things, and maybe that's the point.

00:35:52 Kris

And I thought, man, that's that's poignant, you know, it's it's a documentary, a documentary about a fictional paper company.

00:36:00 Kris

One of the most.

00:36:01 Kris

Bring topics for conversation, but if you look at it within the meta narrative of at the in Universe office.

00:36:09 Kris

The people who are making the documentary felt that there was something beautiful and the ordinariness of that and look, they found it, you know, imagine being the producers in that universe. You'd be sitting on a jackpot if they hadn't looked. And hadn't you know, gone past season one?

00:36:28 Kris

Yeah, they found something ordinary and beautiful.

00:36:30 Hannah

I am. I'm sort of tracking with you, but I'm not.

00:36:34 Hannah

A huge office.

00:36:35 Hannah

But I think I love it's not that.

00:36:38 Hannah

I just. I just like it. I just was. It wasn't really my thing, but yeah. And have you seen Superstore?

00:36:44 Kris

I have seen a few episodes of that similar.

00:36:46 Kris

Kind of vibe.

00:36:46 Hannah

Similar idea.

00:36:47 Kris

Yeah, how funny. Actually, that, like sitcoms and shows, are taking these mundane settings and then finding a scenario out of that.

00:36:56 Kris

There's so many shows, it's just about ordinary things, yeah.

00:37:00 Hannah

Yeah, but yeah. So I think that you have sort of answered that question of how to live a boring life. It's like.

00:37:06 Hannah

Love it, enjoy it. Enjoy it. Yeah. So what does that look like in our lives?

00:37:08 Kris

Yeah, embrace it.

00:37:14 Hannah

Going forward, Kris, what do we wanna take from this episode?

00:37:15 Kris

Yeah, yeah.

00:37:18 Kris

I think in the next couple of weeks it's a pretty full on time where actually there's a a few things that are breaking the sort of normality of life, lots of work stuff, lots of personal stuff, really easy to just skate past it really quickly. Like the idea of slowing down, you know, everything's wooshing.

00:37:38 Kris

I asked you and maybe there's something to learn from everything washing past.

00:37:45 Kris

But that we just want to get over it, right? We just want to get back to normal.

00:37:49 Kris

Well, actually, aren't we craving a bit of, like chaos sometimes? Yeah, maybe. I think what I'm going to be learning from this time is that this is what chaos feels like.

00:38:00 Kris

And like, do I really want this in my life?

00:38:03 Kris

All the time.

00:38:05 Kris

And I suspect by the end of this week.

00:38:08 Kris

Week and next week I'll be like ready for just the normalcy of taking the.

00:38:13 Kris

Dog for the walk.

00:38:15 Kris

And maybe playing an hour or two of video games. So that's me. I think I'm just trying to trying to survive, but also it's such good timing because it's a bit of a chaotic week for me.

00:38:18 Hannah

Oh, I like that.

00:38:26 Kris

Yeah. So really apt, I think, to be like living in that and experiencing it. Like, hey, maybe if you were a famous touring musician every day.

00:38:35 Kris

If your life would look like this, like do.

00:38:37 Kris

You really want this?

00:38:38 Hannah

Yeah. True. Yes. OK. So for me, what's it gonna look like for me to embrace?

00:38:45 Hannah

It's an ordinary life. I mean, I think I do. I think for me, what I want to take away is that when I'm having those catch up with friends and.

00:38:53 Hannah

They ask.

00:38:54 Hannah

How I am instead of saying oh, you know, I'm a bit boring.

00:38:58 Hannah

I want to articulate much better that my life is full of ordinary, beautiful rhythms. You know that there's these patterns.

00:39:05 Hannah

And rituals to my life that aren't even particularly spectacular. But there are these.

00:39:12 Hannah

Ordinary, familiar, lovely days that are making up my life and being able to talk about them like that in a lovely way like this is going to sound cheesy. We can cut this out across, but I genuinely do have a very blessed, lovely.

00:39:26 Hannah

Ordinary life.

00:39:29 Kris

Yeah, that's good.

00:39:31 Kris

Own it. Enjoy it.

00:39:33 Hannah

I will. Thank you. I'm gonna go do it.

00:39:34 Kris

I'll try, I'll try.

00:39:35 Hannah

Right now I'm going.

00:39:36 Hannah

To go and have a lovely black white and.

00:39:41 Hannah

Watch some telly and the catch sounds.

00:39:42 Kris

Delightful that sound.

00:39:44 Kris

Great. I might do the same.

00:39:45 Hannah

Thing just before we go though Kris, we want to invite people to help us prepare for our 10th episode of The Rhythms Podcast.

00:39:54 Kris

That's come quickly. 18 episodes. So yeah, we want to celebrate.

00:39:55 Hannah

I know, I know.

00:39:58 Hannah

That we do. And So what we are inviting you to do and asking you really to do is to send us your questions because our 10th episode is gonna be us answering questions from listeners. So you might have questions, maybe you want to troubleshoot.

00:40:14 Hannah

Something in your life related to rhythms, or maybe have a follow up question to an episode that we've had.

00:40:20 Kris

Or you might just want to talk to us or ask us about.

00:40:24 Kris

Us. Yeah. And we're sort of opening ourselves a bit. We're quite notoriously fairly private people, right? And so this might be we'll have to get to episode 20 before we get this shot again.

00:40:37 Hannah

Any questions about us, but also any questions about rhythms? If we said something that you wanted to know?

00:40:43 Hannah

Know about or. Yeah, like I said, if there's something in your life and you would love us to be able to talk it through and help you figure it out, we'd love to do that. So how can they get their questions to us, Kris?

00:40:53 Kris

Best way to do it is to DM us on Instagram at its rhythms podcast. Just send us a message there.

00:40:59 Kris

We would love to collect them there also. You can e-mail us at the rhythmspodcast@gmail.com and we check both of those pretty regularly. So get in touch and we'll see you at episode 10, which is.

00:41:13 Kris

A few weeks away. So you got plenty of time to get your questions in.

00:41:17 Hannah

Cool. Thanks, everyone. We'll see you then. Bye.

00:41:21 Hannah

Thanks for listening to the Rhythms Podcast for show notes, episode transcripts, and more. Remember, it's RHYT hms.com.

00:41:30 Hannah

That's its rhythms.com, and if you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe. Rate and review on your favourite platform. It really helps us out.

00:41:40 Hannah

Plus, we want to hear.

00:41:41 Hannah

From you, if there's a rhythm in your life you want us to talk about, or a question you'd like to ask us about this episode or any others, please do get in touch.

00:41:49 Hannah

You can e-mail us at the Rhythms podcast at Gmail.

00:41:53 Hannah

Dot com you.

00:41:54 Hannah

Can do DMS on Instagram at its Rhythms podcast, or if you're listening on Spotify, make sure you use the Q&A feature.

00:42:02 Hannah

See you next time on the Rhythms podcast.




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