Episode 9: I Don't Care Anymore

  



Have you ever struggled with moving on from that irritating person or moment? What if your daily rhythms could help you build resilience and flexibility, so you could care less, let go and move on?! Join Kris and Hannah as they discuss Kris’ ‘don’t care’ attitude, consider healthy attachments, and revisit an old argument about Easter eggs.


Links + resources from this episode:

  • Psychology Today article which details how much our daily lives and actions are influenced by our memories
  • How Do I Feel? A Dictionary of Emotions for Children (and everyone!)
  • We want to hear from you! Do you have a question for Kris or Hannah about how a rhythm could support your daily life? An area of your life for them to troubleshoot with a RHYTHMS perspective? A follow up question from a previous episode? Or just curious to get to know Kris and Hannah more? We'll be answering your questions on Episode 10 of the pod, so share your question with us by emailing therhythmspodcast@gmail.com
  • Find us on Instagram at @itsrhythmspodcast

***

This transcript was generated automatically and may not be 100 percent accurate.

Episode transcript:

00:00:00 Hannah 

Welcome to The Rhythms podcast. My name is Hannah. 


00:00:03 Kris 

And my name's Kris. 


00:00:05 Kris 

This is a podcast about exploring the rhythms, patterns and habits that bring joy and add richness to our everyday lives. 


00:00:12 Hannah 

From daily habits to embracing the changing seasons, it's not about mindless routines, but patterns with purpose. It's about making something special out of something ordinary. 


00:00:24 Kris 

If you're someone who wants to move beyond just being more efficient or productive and instead find ways to infuse your days with small, familiar moments that matter, then you've found two new friends with the same goal. 


00:00:37 Hannah 

Every episode listen in as we share a reflection. 


00:00:40 Hannah 

The role of rhythms in our. 


00:00:42 Hannah 

Lives join our conversation as we unpack this idea further and then spend a moment with us considering how that rhythm could shape or add richness to our lives today. 


00:00:55 Kris 

This is episode 9. I don't care anymore. 


00:01:01 Kris 

When the squeeze isn't worth the juice is a phrase I have seemingly fallen in love with over the last few weeks. 


00:01:08 Kris 

The sentiment has been so perfect for the stage of my life that. 


00:01:11 Kris 

I'm in that. 


00:01:12 Kris 

I've been applying it liberally to the many, many situations in my life that warrant it, even if it has become a cliche. There's a reason those exist after all. 


00:01:26 Kris 

When Hannah and I were talking about starting this podcast, another phrase came up which has helped shaped how we view and shape our discussions and reflections. We wanted this podcast to be like bookmarks in the chapters of our lives, that each episode or discussion would be placing a bookmark. 


00:01:46 Kris 

Examining how far we've come and to look towards the next chapter. 


00:01:51 Kris 

And right now I am within sight of that next chapter, the destination on the road trip of my life right now, where I'm having to learn to let things go. I'm nearing a chapter of my life where I don't care anymore. 


00:02:06 Kris 

This is a good thing. Disclaimer, I do care where it really matters. What I would like to do is lay out a case for why and when not caring is one of the healthiest rhythms you can apply when you're faced with situations that warrant it. 


00:02:25 Kris 

The way that humans collect, store and categorize memories is really interesting. Human cognition develops so quickly that babies ages are measured in weeks and months. As we grow, our brains begin to make connections and attachments from what was a purely internal existence. 


00:02:43 Kris 

To the new and increasing influence of the external world. 


00:02:48 Kris 

Our brains, our memories are complex and fascinating. 


00:02:53 Kris 

It can also be our own worst enemy. I read a great article by Psychology Today which talks about how much our daily lives and actions are influenced by our memories. The general idea is that we all have different ways of coping with situations and that we attach our memories of past situations to present. 


00:03:16 Kris 

The authors example is of a time in the past where they were painting their house after a breakup. 


00:03:22 Kris 

If you've ever painted, you know your mind tends to wander, since it's repetitive work. 


00:03:27 Kris 

This built an attachment in the authors mind that would come to Dread Rd. trips because their mind wandered, bringing them back to that moment. And importantly, the feelings they felt after that breakup. 


00:03:41 Kris 

It shows you just how powerful our subconscious is. 


00:03:46 Kris 

Memory and attachment is a biological rhythm that affects us all, and it should. It's how we form opinions and identities. 


00:03:54 Kris 

We remember the things we've experienced and we used that knowledge to inform how we process and perceive the world around us. 


00:04:02 Kris 

As it exists. 


00:04:04 Kris 

There are some memories and attachments that are beyond the scope of a 40 minute podcast to address some of those things will be things that we've carried for years. 


00:04:14 Kris 

And years. 


00:04:17 Kris 

The reason I think it's important to talk about attachment is that it shows the destination of a continued pattern. What can start as a healthy period of emotional regulation can become damaging over time. A healthy breakup should have a finite period of time before dwelling. 


00:04:36 Kris 

And those feelings and emotions becomes unhealthy if you're. 


00:04:40 Kris 

Going on a. 


00:04:41 Kris 

Road trip. You'll never get to your destination if you stop and live in each city along the way. 


00:04:48 Kris 

Pass through those places, taking pictures and making memories. Stay a while. However, it's the rhythm of not caring, of discarding unhelpful distractions that ultimately help us to get to where we need. 


00:05:03 Kris 

To go. 


00:05:06 Kris 

My working life has always been vocal. 


00:05:10 Kris 

I don't work for money or status. I've never been driven by those things. I genuinely want to make a real significant difference in the world. 


00:05:20 Kris 

And I'm fortunate that I have a great outlet for this vocation where I'm working now. 


00:05:25 Kris 

For others, the working world isn't always the warmest of environments. Idealism isn't always compatible with capitalism. It's not even always compatible with just getting by day-to-day, which is what many people are precisely there to do. 


00:05:41 Kris 

I carried that irrational expectation longer than I needed to. Why irrational? Because I can't possibly expect every job, workplace or situation to live up to, or even relate to my own internal compass, regardless of how good I think my principles are. 


00:06:02 Kris 

The environment around me might align with my world view on ethics. Equally, it might not. 


00:06:09 Kris 

So why care? 


00:06:11 Kris 

Outside of some edge cases like turning with someone or purposefully chasing influence, banging my head. 


00:06:18 Kris 

On the brick. 


00:06:19 Kris 

Wall of a situation that has a near 0% chance of changing is we're not caring is a healthy and strategic rhythm to lean into. 


00:06:31 Kris 

It's continuing to be a hard learned lesson because it means acknowledging that in times I've been inflexible, it means that small things that shouldn't bug me bug me. It means acknowledging that sometimes you can care too much about a situation that doesn't warrant or require it at some point. 


00:06:52 Kris 

The healthiest thing to do is to recognize these situations. Take a mental picture and drive on. 


00:07:03 Kris 

If someone cuts me off at an intersection, what's my reaction? Maybe I'm angry at that moment. A reasonable, healthy reaction. It's unsafe behavior and potentially dangerous. I might say something out loud in the car. I might even make a gesture or two. 


00:07:22 Kris 

If I'm holding on to that anger 10 hours later, I'm revealing something about myself that I might not want to acknowledge. Humans compartmentalize when things get tough, maybe I bottle that anger away. Maybe this is me setting myself up to drive in a direction. 


00:07:42 Kris 

Towards a destination I don't want to visit. 


00:07:47 Kris 

Letting go is a layered and nuanced concept. Life throws so many small, unhelpful things for us to latch onto. 


00:07:56 Kris 

It's OK to care about those things. 


00:07:59 Kris 

For a time. 


00:08:01 Kris 

I want to care enough for the time it takes to fully and properly realize how it makes me feel, acknowledging its influence and power over my mind and body long enough for it to make sense. 


00:08:18 Kris 

What helps me to triage this is the 1010 ten rule. It helps me assess how much time a situation should live in my head. 


00:08:29 Kris 

That is, should this matter in 10 minutes, 10 months or 10 years? 


00:08:36 Kris 

If it should only matter for 10 minutes, it's probably not worth holding on to for 10 months, 10 months and 10 years are significant periods of time. Whatever's in our baggage needs to be worth its weight to carry it that long. 


00:08:54 Kris 

If it's precious, hold onto it. If not, you might have an answer for why your arms are so tired. Embracing a healthy rhythm of not caring is a way to release insignificant situations that have the potential to grow into significant. 


00:09:15 Kris 

Detrimental attachments. 


00:09:19 Kris 

This doesn't mean I release any of my idealism or give up my convictions or passion. It doesn't mean I don't care about anything or that I've got a. 


00:09:29 Kris 

Heart of stone. 


00:09:31 Kris 

It just means there are better places for those values to be invested. 


00:09:37 Kris 

Means recognizing that in this moment. 


00:09:41 Kris 

The squeeze. 


00:09:43 Kris 

Isn't worth the juice. 


00:09:59 Hannah 

OK, Chris, tell me, are you a fisherman? Cause there you go with that hook again. It's like drawing us in. 


00:10:06 Kris 

Nice. Are you a your poet? There was an excellent pun off the. 


00:10:11 Hannah 

Ah, thank thanks. 


00:10:12 Kris 

You might. You might have. You might. 


00:10:14 Kris 

Say it's off the hook. 


00:10:15 Hannah 

Ohh OK. Yes, thank you. There's a few people in my family who like Buzz, Dad jokes and they're rubbing off on me. 


00:10:22 Kris 

Yeah. Well, you see, I'm in marketing. So I'm all about the SEO, the search engine optimization. And so we need. 


00:10:29 Kris 

A hook. Here it is. I don't care any. 


00:10:32 Hannah 

Well, I think very effective. This is two in a row for you. Obviously a couple of episodes we talked about living a boring life and yeah. And so this sense of not caring anymore, which I wasn't sure when I first heard you sort of like pitch this. But I think this idea that you're giving us is something that a lot of us will be able to relate to. 


00:10:52 Kris 

Yeah, it's a bit of a aggressive phrase, isn't it? Like it's the kind of thing you would say in an argument when you're just over it and you're like, I don't care anymore. 


00:11:02 Hannah 

Yes, I can hear people in my family screaming it been like ah, but really. 


00:11:07 Kris 

Umm, but I I I. 


00:11:08 Kris 

Love, I love language and I love it that we can use it in so many different ways and. 


00:11:14 Kris 

If we've learned anything about this journey of doing rhythms is that we're like allowed to reframe the way we see things. It's not so set in stone. And so saying you don't care about something doesn't have to mean that it's a negative thing. 


00:11:28 Kris 

And I think that's kind of. 


00:11:29 Kris 

What I wanted to say is that. 


00:11:32 Kris 

It's it can be. There are situations, believe it or not, the world is not black and white. There are shades of Gray in the middle. There are situations where it's OK to release and not care about something, and I think that was. That was where I was going with that. 


00:11:47 Hannah 

I think when I hear I don't care anymore, I hear like my own voice with a sense of defeat in it. But I like how you talked about. Actually, no, it's not about even defeat. It's about being able to release. 


00:12:01 Hannah 

Emotion or a sense of investment to something. And of course there's like totally appropriate and healthy times everyday probably to do that. I think one of the really relevant examples that you gave is road rage, because I can definitely be someone who gets a little bit. 


00:12:20 Hannah 

Frustrated by other drivers I know, I know. 


00:12:20 Kris 

No, no way, OK. 


00:12:25 Kris 

I was writing out of not. 


00:12:27 Kris 

Out of experience, I'm a very chill driver. 


00:12:28 Kris 

The I don't. I don't. I don't do the things that I wrote about. 


00:12:33 

OK. Is that? 


00:12:34 Kris 

True. No. Yeah, absolutely. OK, OK. But I it's one little area where I've, like, put into practice, like, you know what? As long as, like, I mean, I'm annoyed in the moment. Definitely. Because. And like, I've written it like it. It is irresponsible. I don't like when people drive badly and do things that. 


00:12:52 Kris 

Should make you angry, cause you know you're driving a giant. 


00:12:56 Kris 

Flying piece of metal, you. 


00:12:58 Kris 

Know it's heavy. 


00:12:58 Hannah 

For sure, and like it's almost like that righteous anger about like people's. 


00:13:04 Hannah 

Safety and well-being. 


00:13:04 Kris 

Yeah. Don't you know, don't you know that? 


00:13:06 Kris 

You're driving anyway. 


00:13:09 Kris 

But it's I I realize maybe I'm. 


00:13:12 Kris 

Putting that into practice, like if it. 


00:13:14 Kris 

In the moment, yes, but in perspective, I don't need to carry that for the rest of the day. I can release that. 


00:13:22 Hannah 

Yeah, I thought that was so, so good. And I think another example that I thought of today even was how you can decide even in a moment that you're not going to care about something. So in the road rage example, you're saying, oh, you did care, actually, but you're letting it go. But today, the example for me was I've talked before on this podcast. 


00:13:42 Hannah 

About how I rhythm saving my life is me doing my online shopping and having like the same time every week when I pick it up for my groceries. 


00:13:49 Hannah 

And today there was a problem with the system and it was like a couple of hours late. 


00:13:53 Hannah 

I got a text very late into the piece to say it was going to be late. It was going to get this time and then the time changed and it still wasn't ready at that time. And so I'm kind of just hanging around in the end. I had to go down to a different supermarket to pick up some of the things I wasn't able to get in the order, hoping I was going to get the. 


00:14:09 Hannah 

Next to say come and pick up your groceries. I did not, and I was frustrated and I thought I'm going to drive. 


00:14:13 Hannah 

All the. 


00:14:14 Hannah 

Way home and then have to come all the way back and I just decided. 


00:14:19 Hannah 

I don't have to care about this, I can just decide. Yeah, that's not how I imagine spending some time off today, but I just don't need. 


00:14:27 Hannah 

To care about that. And so I think that even just being conscious of it like that can help you, like, not even in the 1st place care or worry or stressed about things that actually don't deserve the stress. 


00:14:38 Kris 

But because you get 1000 of those a day and you get to choose whether you decide to care about them or not. 


00:14:45 Kris 

And the point I was trying to make with the small things is that they can compound into big things if we let if we let them, you know, the article I read did you get a chance to read the Psychology Today article? 


00:14:57 Hannah 

I didn't, so you might have. 


00:14:58 Hannah 

To just unpack a little. 


00:14:59 Hannah 

Bit more for us. 


00:15:00 Kris 

Yeah. So it's quite a dense article, but the main thrust of it is that when we have a memory and we associate it with an action or a. 


00:15:08 Kris 

Time that if we if that attachment is strong enough, it can trigger in other places in our lives as well. And so the author was painting there house. 


00:15:20 Kris 

For a break. 


00:15:20 Kris 

Yeah. And this act of letting their mind wander was, like, almost a trigger. And so when they would go on a road trip or they would sort of avoid situations where they let their mind wander because it took them right back to that moment. And yeah, that crazy. I thought that was really powerful. 


00:15:27 Hannah 

Yeah. Wow. 


00:15:41 Kris 

Because it shows. 


00:15:43 Kris 

This sort of compounding nature and the power of memory and attachment to pin us into places and time. 


00:15:51 Hannah 

It's kind of like that needle on a haystack idea as well. It's like maybe when you haven't been able to process emotions and feelings that were tied to an event or an experience or a relationship or an environment or a place culture. 


00:16:08 Hannah 

When you haven't been able to process that, then often it's just the tiniest little glass needle on the haystack and they can just erupt day anytime. I suppose that idea, and I think I definitely can think about times. And it wasn't just little annoyances, but that there were big issues and environments that I've been in. 


00:16:28 Hannah 

And I wasn't able to deal with them and so small things would mean for me it wasn't even like. 


00:16:32 Hannah 

Yeah, it. Well it was. But like crying. Like just being able to just cry at the drop. 


00:16:41 Hannah 

Of a hat you know. 


00:16:42 Kris 

Yeah. Yeah, it's your body coping, you know, it's your body trying to find a way to, like, regulate what you're feeling and everyone does it differently. Some people shut down, you know, they just stop responding to any sort of input. They just, you know, Nah or whatever. Or they'll. They'll they'll get themselves out of a situation, you know, go for a walk or something. I definitely. One of those. 


00:17:02 Kris 

Like if there's a situation where I just am at the end of my teeth there, I'm like, I'll just go for a walk or something cause I just need to remove myself. 


00:17:10 Kris 

From that. 


00:17:11 Kris 

And the good thing about being confronted with lots of small things that the world's asking us to care about is that it's good training for us to, like, regulate our emotions. You know, it's like you practice doing it. It's it's active listening, right. Firstly, you have to realize it's happening to you. 


00:17:29 Kris 

And then once you do, you can practice releasing it, not caring about. 


00:17:34 Hannah 

It your reflection, maybe think about this book that we bought for the children in our home.

Those. 


00:17:40 Hannah 

Like biologically part of our family and those who visit, and it's from the author of Idaho's Way. And so I think that the authors kind of write about this in a few of their books, but this one is how do I feel? And it's kind of like for children and young people, this dictionary about different feelings and emotions and what they talk about in there is that it's not just experiences that can trigger emotions and feelings. 


00:18:01 Hannah 

That's also our thoughts and I think that that's something that more of us are becoming conscious of is that you can actually change your thoughts and your thinking to support your, you know, your mental well-being and health. And so I thought that's, yeah, what you wrote about made me think of that. So. And actually I pulled open the. 


00:18:20 Hannah 

Work and I thought what was really cool is that they suggest some rhythms. I suppose that you can build into your life that can help you with being able to process those emotions and feelings, but also rhythms that will help you to stay in a state where you're able to regulate your emotions and feelings, to recognize them and respond to them in. 


00:18:40 Hannah 

In healthy ways as they come, which I thought was very good for the Rhythms podcast. 


00:18:44 Kris 

Yeah, nice time. And the the thing. 


00:18:47 Kris 

We're using this phrase like healthy. 


00:18:49 Kris 

And this obviously implies this unhealthy things. This there is definitely healthy attachments and unhealthy attachments, and I guess we needed to narrow the scope of what not to care about. There's going to be situations in life where of course you're going to care and you need to, you know, and that's too. 


00:19:10 Kris 

Layered into nuance for like a schmoes to unpack it on our podcast. You know, we're just trying to make sense of it ourselves, you know? And you remember that phrase, you know, bookmarks and chapters in our lives or whatever. We're all just. We're all just kind of working it out as we go. 


00:19:27 Kris 

And so maybe this is the first step of like. 


00:19:31 Kris 

Being able to release. 


00:19:33 Kris 

Some of these small things, so that maybe down the track when I when I'm older and I've got to like release other things that are bigger. This is kind of like groundwork for that. 


00:19:44 Hannah 

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So do you have, like, yeah, rhythms or practices that help you to do that in a moment or at a later moment? 


00:19:55 Kris 

Well, funnily enough. 


00:19:56 Kris 

The the very thing that I said I do when I'm just at the end of end of it with the situation is to just excuse myself from that situation. I think it's actually really helpful. Yeah. You know, it could be a job or it could be a relationship. Like it's actually good. 


00:20:12 Kris 

And OK to just. 


00:20:14 Kris 

Create some distance. 


00:20:16 Kris 

And have purposeful time. 


00:20:18 Kris 

Apart from that. 


00:20:19 Hannah 

Thing and I think what you actually said as well is that, yeah, you would excuse yourself, but that you'd go for a walk. And so that's making me think then you actually move your body and probably where are you walking? You're probably walking outside. And those are like two things that we know help us to process. 


00:20:38 Hannah 

That energy and motion and emotion, or a feeling as being in nature and being outside and having for share and breathing. 


00:20:45 Kris 

Differently, even just like seeing the sun and. 


00:20:48 Kris 

You know all that. There's a reason that we have seasonal ethic to sort of. You know, there's there's something about being in the sunshine that really lifts us. And the other thing that I think is that you don't want to expose yourself to more of the same. Like, if you're, if you're pulling yourself out of a situation where you just want to release that you don't want to, then go and plop. 


00:21:03 

OK. 


00:21:09 Kris 

Yourself into a similar situation. You want to do something that's almost the opposite of where you are. So if you're in like a really heated conversation, go somewhere quiet. You know, don't put, don't put on anything that's like talking or like you just want some silence. You want some peace. 


00:21:11 Hannah 

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah. 


00:21:25 Kris 

You know you you want to look for the opposite of what you've just came come out from. 


00:21:29 Hannah 

Some of the practices that they suggest in this book is some of that stuff around, like mindfulness and those things. So like they talk about belly breathing so that like being able to be really conscious of your breath coming in and out, which is helpful in a physical sense, but also helps slow down your thinking and give some focus to something else as well. 


00:21:49 Hannah 

They talk about mindfulness exercise, changing negative thoughts. If it's more about your thoughts rather than like an environment. 


00:21:56 Hannah 

Trigger and meditation talking with others about how we feel and helping others. 


00:22:02 Hannah 

And yeah, obviously that's like a big world there that we're not going to delve too much into. I just thought that again, it was a good reminder that there's just really simple little practice like all of those you could do at school or in the car when someone just cut you off or at work or wherever you are. I think for me some of the stuff that I built into my life. 


00:22:23 Hannah 

You know the rhythms. I've talked about. Some of them is what I listen to on my way to and from work. Help me. Just think. 


00:22:29 Hannah 

About something that brings me life and brings me joy and usually is quite different from what I've just been at, and whether that's a bleary eyed morning or a workplace meeting or, but also even some of the stuff that I'm trying to like still develop in that evening rhythm that I'm still working on is being able to read before I go to sleep. 


00:22:50 Hannah 

Where I what I was doing for a while and maybe I need to go back to it is just just that idea of writing down three things from that day that I was grateful for, or when I felt joy or delight. And I think some of that helps you process as well, like what helps you figure out what you actually do, wanna keep caring about and remember. And one of the things that you're going. 


00:23:06 Kris 

Yeah, yeah. 


00:23:09 Hannah 

Stay attached to because they're really good. 


00:23:12 Kris 

Rhythms do that, they they they can help you create good attachments. You know, they little anchors and at the risk of alienating our key demo, which I'm not even sure what is anymore, but but talking to all the guys out. 


00:23:26 Kris 

There from one from. 


00:23:27 Hannah 

Oh, actually they were our top listeners when they last checked was guys around. 


00:23:30 Kris 

Who are they? 


00:23:32 Hannah 

Rage. When our last episode dropped first few lessons, we're guys right now. So thank you guys. 


00:23:34 Kris 

Ohh great. Well well. 


00:23:36 Kris 

Guys 25 to 35 and 35 to 45. It's not a question of whether it's a masculine thing or a feminine thing. To think about mindfulness, the conversation around mental health has just changed so much in my lifetime, from being something that you just kind of. 


00:23:54 Kris 

Grin and bear to. 


00:23:56 Kris 

Being something that's really openly talked about, and I think mindfulness. 


00:24:01 Kris 

It's like going through life with a broken leg and never acknowledging that you need a bandage for a cast, and that's changed. And so I guess if you're listening to this and you're a guy in sort of my demo, I was never that sort of person who leant into mindfulness stuff or that touchy feely like, you know, like checking and breathing. 


00:24:21 Kris 

And journaling and stuff. But there's always a way to outlet your emotions that makes sense for you, and it's not necessarily what we say, you know? You know what Hannah does is different to what I. 


00:24:34 Kris 

To, but it's about being able to actively listen to what you need and find an outlet. You know, if it's a masculine thing, maybe it's phishing or traditionally masculine thing. Maybe it's fishing or, you know, working on the car. 


00:24:44 

OK. 


00:24:48 Kris 

Or something. And I'm really leaning into. 


00:24:49 Kris 

The I'm really leaning into. 


00:24:51 Kris 

The the stereotypes here, but. 


00:24:53 Kris 

You know, some people, that's a war for. 


00:24:55 Hannah 

Yeah, yeah. 


00:24:57 Kris 

So I don't know if that's resonating with someone, you know in my demo. 


00:25:02 Kris 

That'd be good. 


00:25:02 Hannah 

Yeah, for sure, like. And I bet that there are so many people who actually already have these rhythms in their life that they might not actually even really be conscious of, but things like maybe after dinner in the summer months, you go and kick a ball around us, you know, in the evening. And it's that kind of it's moving your body, it's being out and breathing and having fresh air and enjoying. 


00:25:16 Kris 

Yeah, yeah. 


00:25:23 Hannah 

The simple delight of the sun on your skin and as you're sort of like redirecting your thinking around that you are able to let go. 


00:25:29 Hannah 

Of the stuff in the day that you don't. 


00:25:31 Kris 

Need anymore? I like that phrase actually like it's like redirecting. It's almost like a magic trick where you're sort of taking the attention of something that can be quite pressing as one of the magicians's biggest tricks is that they they. 


00:25:44 Kris 

Focus their attention on one thing so they can hide something that's going on in another hand you know. But in this case. 


00:25:51 Kris 

We want to just drop whatever's in the other hand and look at the 10. I really like the tin tin tin rule. 


00:25:58 Kris 

Which is a way. What did I say? It's like it helps you triage. 


00:26:03 Kris 

Something, whether it's worth holding on to, so will this matter in 10 seconds? 10 minutes? Will it matter in 10 months? Will it matter in 10 years? 


00:26:11 Kris 

And it's just a good way of putting perspective around things, you know. So if it's, if it should only matter for 10 minutes, I probably shouldn't hold on to. 


00:26:18 Hannah 

It for 10 months for sure. Yeah. And like, same with my example today about my online grocery order. Like it was gonna take me less than 10 minutes to turn around and go back to the grocery store, you know? So like, just so not a big deal. Yes. 


00:26:28 Kris 

Yeah, yeah. 


00:26:32 Hannah 

Yes, it probably shouldn't happen, but actually it doesn't matter. So what I'm wondering about is there are things that we will care about and do care about that might weigh on us. And obviously just wanting to like take the opportunity to remind us that rhythms. 


00:26:52 Hannah 

Also really helpful when we do care. You know that idea that rhythms hold us and carry us and those tough moments. And I think again those are things that we can like make sure we have in our life before we need them. 


00:27:05 Kris 

Yeah, like free pre positioning. 


00:27:09 Hannah 

Exactly. So we have that cup of coffee or that practice of that rhythm of clicking the ball line after dinner or whatever it is, and they're there when we're in a light, happy phase season of our lives. And when it's harder as well than the year for that familiar, lovely moment each day. 


00:27:29 Hannah 

And that can be some of the things that do hold us in hard times alongside relationships and people, and potentially even some of those other things we've started to touch on, like meditation or meeting with someone to talk about. 


00:27:44 Hannah 

Staff. A therapist stuff? Yeah. 


00:27:44 Kris 

Yeah, yeah. You know, they say that like there's a reason for the cliche. Yes, like the squeeze when the squeeze isn't with the juice. It's just so perfect for this. I couldn't let it go. I I literally. I must used it like, five times, unironically, in the last week because it's just such a great way of saying look. 


00:28:04 Kris 

It's just not worth it. 


00:28:06 Kris 

You know, you know, why do I care about this? I don't need to invest myself so heavily into this out. 


00:28:13 Kris 

Especially in if the outcome. 


00:28:16 Kris 

Is in a situation where I have no control. 


00:28:19 Kris 

Over it I used the the example of work which I think a lot of people might be able to relate to. I'm really fortunate that in my current role I can outwork some of my vocation as someone who works for the betterment of others and that's really fortunate. But there will be people who are going into their working environment where they're carrying this. 


00:28:41 Kris 

And what they see around them doesn't match what's inside them internally, and it can be really easy to just mire in it, you know, just. 


00:28:51 Kris 

No one cares as much as I do, and I think what did I call a irrational expectation? And there's a disconnect between what the outcome that you want and the outcome or the the the environment that's around you. 


00:29:04 Hannah 

Do you think there's pursued and personality types that that affects more like I'm thinking of an example where I've really cared about a particular outcome. 


00:29:13 Hannah 

Even though that outcome is not going to have any impact on me like whatsoever. 


00:29:18 Hannah 

Actually, doesn't matter if someone disagrees with me, it's not really gonna matter because I'm not even gonna be affected by the outcome of the decision. But I am like a control freak and I'm a perfectionist. And so if I and my beliefs are really, really important to me, and so if I just feel like this matters, even though it's not going to affect me. 


00:29:38 Hannah 

Can be hard to let it go. It's that control freak part of Maine. 


00:29:40 Kris 

Absolutely. Some people are absolutely wired that way and they have a people like you have a. 


00:29:46 Kris 

Place just just. 


00:29:48 Kris 

Like, because I'm like that too, I feel like what I do should have significance, but I think you and I are probably a bit different in how we apply that. Maybe it's because I'm getting older or cause I'm changing, but I'm trying to be more flexible. I don't know. It feels like being flexible helps you cope because if you just take. 


00:30:08 Kris 

If you die on every hill, you're you're gonna you're gonna run. 


00:30:11 Kris 

Out of hills, you know. 


00:30:12 Hannah 

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.